When we’re children we’re taught that a story has three parts; beginning, middle and end. As we grow up and our understanding of the world develops we see this three-part process appear elsewhere in life:
Three parts of a day (morning, afternoon and night)
Three meals of a day (breakfast, lunch and dinner)
The life cycle of beer (brewing, fermentation, drinking)
The three important parts of a ménage a trios (me, your mum, your sister)
Even life itself can be divided into thirds (birth, life, death/Cher)
The important thing about any three-part process is you complete all three steps in order. You can’t just skip a step. It doesn’t work like that. You don’t just turn up and the Olympic Games and get given a gold medal. There are two important steps before that, training and competing. You really can’t skip a step in the process. It’s like skipping part of getting dressed in the morning. You might try it once, but when you figure out that you’ve got your dick tucked into a sock and you forgot to put pants on, it quickly becomes a very awkward boardroom presentation.
People often become famous based on the following process:
Develop a skill – achieve remarkable success in your chosen field – become famous for your success
Great actors, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more have achieved fame through these steps. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, Michael Schumacher, Hugh Laurie, Robin Williams, these are people who have worked hard and succeeded in their chosen fields. Paris Hilton was not included above because I refuse to acknowledge “Born Rich – Sex Tape – Famous” as a three part process.
That’s not to say people haven’t tried to skip a step before. Oh no, there will always be people looking for a shortcut. We’re making TV shows out of it these days (big brother, survivor, . Hell, most of our D grade celebrities are these people. Anyone who is described as a “Reality TV Star” is not actually famous, they’re just noticed. They’ve skipped part of the process and now they’re trying to be famous without actually having achieved anything. Seriously, who the hell are the Kardashians? (Aside from a clan of people that wanted a group discount on monogrammed towels)
We’re seeing more and more the problems associated with skipping step two these days. Rebecca Black wants to be home-schooled now because she gets teased at school.
1. Harden up you tone-deaf twat, it’s high school, you’re lucky you’re not getting shot.
2. This is your own fault for skipping step two (develop a skill (singing) – become successful (through being such a good musician that people want to hear more) – fame). Actually, you kind of skipped step one there too... either way it’s your own damn fault for trying to avoid the system and go straight to the fame and riches part. Maybe it would have been an idea to start working as a part-time singer in a small bar before launching yourself onto the internet.
We’re seeing the same sort of thing happen in the London riots at the moment. We have groups of lazy idiots that have seen the process of “Work hard – Succeed in your business – Get rewarded”. They thought the first two parts were a bit much and decided they just wanted to skip to the third part, the money. What they seem to have failed to grasp is the REWARD part. The expensive items you’re dragging out of a shattered shop window are meant to be worked towards. That’s why they’re valuable, not the price tag on the box, but the time and effort spent to afford it.
The reason people look so damn happy driving a Ferrari is because they earned it. They know that they worked hard, succeeded and they finally bought their dream car. People used to see someone with a big house or an exotic car and they would know that this was a person who had put in the hard yards. Now-a-days though we usually see the BMW and assume daddy was loaded and the driver is a wanker. That reminds me; parents, don’t give your children squat! Make the little thieving buggers work for it.
Skipping the middle is like going from being twenty or being forty overnight. Sure, you’ll be forty, but you won’t have the experiences and wisdom gained from your twenties and thirties. So you’ll probably be unable to satisfy a woman, useless at holding your drink and still laugh at fart jokes (ok, maybe that last part won’t change)
Some people might say that a celebrity culture and rampant consumerism are to blame. Some people might say that by talking about these issues we’re only feeding them the attention they so crave. Some people might suggest that deeply ingrained and complex social trends can’t be reduced to a three-part process. Well, some people might like to fuck off.
I’m right and you know it.
-Worst Guy Ever
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